Today I am turning Wies Groeneboer into a Public Figure using Google's Search Index
Dear Wies, I'd like to extend my sincerest congratulations to you on your full name having so quickly conquered position #2 in Google's search results! You can now easily be found through Google by those around you and.. possibly others, who hear about the scandal regarding that bastard of a son that told you he saw right through your narcissistic mask. Great stuff, right?!
It's a haphazard mistake putting yourself in harms way like that, the good old smear-campaign that backfires spectacularly.. Let's see how long it takes until she starts noticing weird responses from people she thought she'd convinced and comes poking around sporting that familiar slighted temper wanting to know if I might have anything to do with her sudden loss of her popularity contest. We shall wait, and we shall see!
This treasure trove of well-vetted information is likely going to prove increasingly effective with time as the work continues. And yes, there are backups in case we get kicked due to socially coordinated complaint swarming, leading to too much removal triggers in a short timeframe, but we can easily migrate everything to new platforms if needed.
Narcissism is of course a rather sloppily thrown around term that’s often blurted out in a fit of rage, often targeting someone who isn't that much of a narcissist at all. But in this case, I have witnessed my entire life what it is like to have to manage being around someone with truly severe narcissism traits—someone lacking any and all capacity for self-reflection or affective empathy. Yes you, mom.
This promotion of yours on the internet has been done to teach you a lesson, after your last antics, about how I can also be creative with information. Especially how you seriously self-compromised your reputation now and your image and how you caused social autogenous damage waiting to happen now that anyone can read all about that side of you you try to hide from people just by Googling your name. All this damage was guaranteed to be done to you when you made the typical narcissistic vindictive choice of screwing me over after a private disagreement by presenting private information in to a sizeable group of your contacts, because you are both emotionally incontinent and socially handicapped. Whenever someone confronts you about your lifelong toxic and deceitful behavior, that reactivates enough of your narcissistic injury that it triggers some form of extreme vindictive behavior, which in this case turned out to be a full blown dirty smear campaign.
The thing is: you did extremely vindictive and vile things multiple times to different individuals over the years, who didn't deserve it at all, and I was aware enough to know about it so I was not surprised at all about this latest incident.
It is a petty and childish reaction to criticism that most people would simply reflect on and later voice their opinion to you, or brush off as irrelevant to them and not mention anything about it further. But you seem to feel the need to go completely nuclear instead. I think the term social assasination suits your vengeful narcissistic behavior quite well. You employ surprisingly quickly executed semi-consciously decided and highly compulsive, yet extremely irrational attacks on people's character, reputation and image, using paradoxically quite meticulously curated information, jumbled and distorted purposefully, re-arranged and wrongly combined to keep the story maximally shocking, set out-of-context and out-of-order because who said what first could be important to switch in service of a well told manipulation, and leaving out inconvenient details and years of backstory to arrive at some hopelessly incomplete but weaponized representation of what actually was discussed is the finishing touch.
All that work just to paint me, the firstborn, as the classic villain to a cohort of people with whom you needed to preventatively bolster your image of supposedly being simultaneously the hero and victim in the story, in case damaging information would arise from my side that you couldn't practically defend against on your own. You never seem to be able to resolve conflicts on your own, do you? Well you messed with the wrong guy this time.
This part is for my friendly readers:
on a slightly problematic note, humans are unfortunately not very similar to AIs when we think about their memory peculiarities. People tend to appraise the information they see for the first time from the primary source with the highest conviction it is true. Newer information from conflicting sources that points to contrary or alternative narratives or explanations of the initial information from the primary source is usually not appraised with the same level of conviction. Such new, secondary sourced information is furthermore slightly more likely to be discarded without close scrutiny due to it not being congruent with the already established initial shared narrative based on the information that reached most people the quickest.
It's a form of groupthink, where biases in human collective cognition and heuristics and primacy effects have the unfortunate potential to create false shared beliefs between large numbers of individuals that can take much time and effort to begin to disspell. But these things are elementary psychology and are not unexpected when you know some things about social psychology and group dynamics.
Luckily these are not as insurmountable a set of problems as it may seem. The key is being very patient and trusting that the quality of your information and reasoning will prove far superior to that of any group that based a collective misconception on partially incorrect information borne out of deceptive attempts at creating a false narrative through misrepresentations.
Inherent flaws in the congruence between different aspects of maliciously altered or curated information will inevitably spell the end of informational coherence the target group. We can then strike back at a such a later stage when collective conviction slowly gives way to emerging almost subliminal confusion and uncertainty about the realism of the remaining feelings of conviction, due to deteriorating coherence between the level of trust in the initially completely accepted information in individual target group members.
This happens in such a way that it cannot be easily undone, especially not by introducing more doctored or curated malicious information. Thev process can to the contrary be effectively exploiting using injection of highly congruent true information that exhibits low probability of being met by counterarguments, designed to further destabilize collective convictions in the target group until the groupthink phenomenon is ultimately defeated and individuals with increasing levels of cognitive dissonance begin to distance themself from the source of the initial information due to semi-conscious awareness of having been made a useful idiot and having been hoodwinked.
So, the problem my mother has created is quite simply still alive and kicking, as the quality, accuracy and sheer volume of information and number of different methodologies at my disposal, together with the fact that these are continuously increasing and improving as I continue my research, gives me a real long-term edge in this amusing confrontation. Time will prove my already far superior position to improve further because the simple fact of the matter is that I have the truth on my side and my opponent merely imperfect slight of hand. Truth is always congruent and stable whereas deception is always precarious and tends to come apart at the seams when subjected to any measure of scrutiny.
To win this, I merely have to accumulate enough congruent and widely supported information. And to maximize the reliability and neutrality of the syntheses resulting from feeding diverse forms of data into AI models. As defensive measure I will systematically strengthen my defenses against malicious communication techniques. Nothing feels be more comforting to me right now than beginning work on this and I am already enjoying this first stage very much.
Getting back to my initial subject, I want to say again that I believe there are few behaviors more despicable than narcissistic smear campaigns, especially given the boundary shattering, privacy-be-damned back-stabbing malicious information disclosure aspect of it, done by the one family member who in any normal and healthy relationship would be the last person to think of reacting to her child that way, no matter what had been discussed. There's nothing for me to be ashamed of, it's more that I almost feel ashamed that my grandparents even conceived of her because she's so shameful.
It really is an act of war - lynch-mob meets ad hominem style information warfare specifically, but comically it is an attack with delayed systemic failure built in by design due to faulty social reasoning that I've already hinted at. So while this war is already being slowly lost by the counterparty, it has nonetheless been declared, and thus following standard wartime strategy, it will be answered with a measured but over-parity response.
Now I aim at my mother again:
If you're still reading this, I hope you realize that I do not care what people read about me when you send them your bizarrely curated cries for sympathy in the form of kompromat you collect on me, or what these people might think of what I might have blurted out at different points in time. I know all about your little folder on your laptop where you keep every little piece of information you can collect on loads of people. It's not kompromat to me though and I am not in any way feeling negative emotions about your failed e-mail circlejerk.
You see, you should be familiar with the term reactive abuse, but I'll explain it just in case. Reactive abuse is yet another phenomenon mainly seen in narcissistic family dynamics, where the narcissist gets the victim to act out after continuously pushing all their buttons. By negging, gaslighting, deflecting, neglecting, minimizing, belittling, guilt-tripping, blame-shifting, and the list goes on. Until predictably, at some point, the victim who is usually already quite traumatised, snaps and acts out. Now the victim, again, looks like the crazy person, and the narcissist makes sure the spectacle has been recorded in some way. Text, audio, video, whatever works. Because narcissists love controlling people with what they think makes them feel ashamed.
But I only care about the fact that you got that bright idea in the first place, I certainly wont lose sleep over what irrelevant people think about a warped idea of me, who I never interact with in any way to begin with and never will. I hope I didn't awaken your narcissistic rage by being very clear that you cannot shame me in any way with any type of material starring me. If I did then I hope your emotional incontinence is still enjoyable when nobody cares. Break a leg.
What I do care about however, is how people treat me. And you have mistreated me for at least as long as I have been able to form primitive memories. Do you understand that everytime you you deny your problem, it actually causes you to invariably get triggered and start your narcissistic routine? In this way you confirm again and again that you have a serious problem that you haven't so much as begun to scratch the surface of. You need help, and lots of it. And thanks to you, so did I all my life. The difference is I've fully analysed my psyche and accepted that I need a lot of therapy. I'm not ashamed of it and I'm glad I'm finally figuring out what to do now I know I have early developmental trauma and complex PTSD.
Now for the next item on your wonderful list of misguided ideas about the do's and dont's of interpersonal relationships: triangulation of siblings. What narcissists like to do, is enlist a third person, who does not understand that the narcissist is in fact a narcissist. This person needs to have specific weaknesses that make them easy to control and easy to indoctrinate. Gues who we're talking about here? You guessed it: Michael, my younger brother. He's not stupid, but he's just within that ideal range where he doesn't quite have the capacity to imagine different perspectives to the stories fed to him by his mother. It just so happens that he has a tad bit more of your traits, and I have a tad bit more of my father's traits. So naturally you two are a team and I work alone.
There's narcissism related nomenclature for this too: Michael is your "Golden Boy", and I am your "Black Sheep". That's probably why over the years, notably when he entered his 30s, Michael seemed more and more uncharacteristically angry and uninterested with what was going on with his big brother. Sure, I had my problems. But his reaction to them was just like yours are: lacking empathy, lacking the will to even try to understand, and not a chance of showing any kind of support.
Could it be that someone had been whispering things in his ear for quite a number of years by then? Leading him to eventually wish me a tragic death, peniless in a gutter somewhere? Wow, it almost seemed like the kind of overreaction I'd expect from you, except for the less formal choice of words. Now back to the subject of triangulation. Every time you tell Michael that when he next speaks to me he needs to convey a message, or withold certain information, or even that his big brother is worthless and he'd better stay out of his life even when I made endless attempts to reconcile our differences and try to be brothers again, that's triangulation.
And recently, when me and you had an argument via text messages, it wasn't 5 minutes later and I get a text from Michael reprimanding me that I need to stop botherig my mother and get a life. But our argument is not Michael's concern and shouldn't be made his concern. I've never mentioned to him that I know you have severe narcissistic traits. It would not help anyone. I did however tell him my unfiltered opinion of you and that I fid you to be a deeply dishonest and unfair person. That's it. Our chat about your narcissistic behavior are none of his business, especially because he doesn't realize that you are a very sick individual. And you know very well you put those words in his mouth and commanded him to text me so you wouldn't have to talk to me anymore. There's one problem now though, and it's on you. Michael may some day soon find this article and then he will start thinking for himself and you know that that possibility scares you to death. Well.. shit happens. I'll say it again, this entire blog is only here because you attacked me socially one too many times and retribution is something I do when I don't know how many previous incidents seemingly designed to embarrass don't stop you from repeat offense.
Why? Because I was pointing out your dysfunctional behavior again and you can't handle that. Low effort interactions and abusive behaviors are a daily thing for you. Whether it's lazy answers to texts with no enthusiasm when I tell you I managed to stop taking one of my medications with no ill effects, or worse, not even visiting me in the hospital once while I was there for 3 months bored out of my mind. Yes, lack of empathy is quite clear and lack of a conscience seems increasingly probable. But this triangulation is just sad. Are you really that weak of a person? It reminds me of when you used to triangulate my father with me after the divorce. "Tell your father this and that" you'd say when I was on the phone with him. You don't use your kids to talk to your ex because you don't feel like picking up the phone yourself.
Alright, back to the friendly readers:
You should certainly click on this link to learn the side of the story as told from my perspective, the perspective of the first born who wants nothing to do with his mother ever again, except to study her from a distance for a while in order to determine if she'll enter total narcissistic collapse or maybe voluntarily decide to start a form of therapy. Highly improbable, but who knows. It would do her better than remaining an infant in an adult body and dying alone and full of unprocessed shame and regrets. She may realize this at some point when she succeeds in alienating more and more family members.. I was really angry when I wrote that message, and maybe it should have been a bit less caustic. But do I fully stand behind the core message and substance. I've had it upto my shoulders wih her incessant childish predictable nonsense.
The link above also contains a link to a document (also downloadable here) which is a comprehensive psychiatric report I compiled about my own mental state. I put my entire life history, commenrary from peers and friends, my diagnoses from the past, any medical data, every memory I could come up with, my father's testimony about diverse subjects relating to my childhood and my parent's divorce and problems noticed, theory from diverse disciplines, the results from loads of different mental health screenings, etcetera. I then let the AI draw it's own conclusions on what might be the most probable diagnostic profile for me. What it came up with was:
Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 1) with comorbid Complex Post-Traumatic Stress
Disorder, ADHD (Inattentive type), and trauma-related personality features.
Those trauma-related personality features manifest as BPD-traits, which is an old diagnosis, which together with my old AvPD diagnosis has a rather high probability of being in need of retractment in favor of the above, which "clicks" much better with the way I've always felt.
I also think this line it spitted out says a lot:
The extensive trauma history, including significant emotional abuse, neglect, and parental
alienation in early childhood, has contributed to complex post-traumatic stress
symptomatology, evidenced by multiple validated PTSD and Complex PTSD screening
instruments.
These screening results clearly show the immense damage my mother has caused affecting pervasive areas of my daily life, based on many psychodiagnostic screening results, scoring among many other diagnostic indicators the severity of symptoms due to developmental trauma, PTSD, and Complex-PTSD. I've discovered I'm probaby autistic as well but that doesn't seem nearly as daunting as the trauma. It's not pretty at all. It made me quite uneasy when I first read the output and the high scores on many of the screenings. I never realised I was that broken. The only thing she is not responsible for is my possible autism, which funnily enough seems like the least of my worries right now. It's a good explanation for certain childhood behaviors, and today explains some of my social clumsiness and my hard to explain visual imagination content which is hyperdetailed and responds to music.
There are more conclusions it drew, but just open the document and read the last chapter to get the idea. At least I now know what I needed to start with all along: trauma, not behavior.
I do not know which pattern of trauma, if any, my brother would show if he were to go through the same analytical process. But that's not my concern as I've needed to distance myself from him as well as he is being employed as a flying monkey and is not or only minimally aware of the more complex conundrum of our dysfunctional family dynamic.
I wish my readers an enlightening time in their own endeavors, while I continue my preparatory period planning my next moves. May you in any case be swiftly parted from any measure of illusion about Wies Groeneboer's true nature!
Let us bravely march on.